Those who have died and those who have survived.

Domestic violence has touched many lives, and the Domestic/Sexual Assault Outreach Center held their annual vigil Tuesday to honor those who died and celebrate those who survived.

Stories of those who died were read by family, friends and D/SAOC staff to honor and remember those who were lost. A candle lighting followed, and purple and white balloons were released into the night for each person whose story was read.

"This year it was so neat to do both," said Christine Dayton, executive director at D/SAOC and coordinator for the event. "It gives us hope about domestic violence to have survivors here and tell the stories is amazing."

D/SAOC invited Katie Thompson, author and photographer, to share the Iowa Voices Project with residents in Fort Dodge. Thompson collected 31 stories, one for each day in October, of Iowa women who have survived abusive relationships with the help of the Iowa Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

"I focus on getting out and moving on," she said. "I focus on hope, for my own sake."

Thompson's own story of domestic violence was featured in the project.

"This project has changed my life," she said. "I feel special again. It has been a long time since I've had something in my life that has made me feel special."

Thompson was the keynote speaker for the event and read portions of her book that she is writing for the 31 women who shared their story with her.

"His hands were around my neck, a noose of fingers," she read from Chapter 0. "Technically, that was the day I hit bottom."

Becky Josline, another survivor, said she was glad to hear the stories of other survivors at the vigil.

"It gives me hope that we can fix it," she said. "I don't think I'll completely recover, but that's OK. If I still feel it, it will help me help others."

Josline tattooed a purple ribbon over her heart with the word "Survivor" across it. She left her husband in 2000, she said.

"At first I didn't feel like I was there, but now I know I survived," she said.

Josline said she still finds it hard to be in a relationship.

"I feel like I have to justify all my actions (to him)," she said. "A trip to the grocery store would have started an argument before. I was conditioned."

Thompson agreed.

"It's hard moving on," she said. "You know you made big mistakes in the past and it's hard to trust yourself again."

Every woman Thompson interviewed had the best qualities a woman can have, she said.

"Patient, forgiving, caring, tolerant," she said. "But they were all those things to the men that hurt them."

She said it has meant a lot to her to share the stories of hope and survival with others.

"In some ways this project has ruined me," she said. "Now every woman I see, I wonder what her story is. I wonder what she's not telling me."

Contact Katie Williams at (515) 573-2141 or katie@messengernews.net